Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Q&A
I've been getting a lot more questions that I feel are blog worthy lately, so instead of my usual blogging, I figure I'd just knock a few out in one big Q&A blog where I can answer everyone's questions publicly, and who knows, a lot more people may be dealing with the same situation! So if you're one of the people who's questions I'm about to answer, thanks for the support, and don't be shy to ask for help, that's what I'm here for!:]
Q: Can you help explain to me why guys just want to be friends with benefit and not just friends? or even more than that? and if you choose not too just for the respect of your body, why they don't bother talking to you again? =/
A: Babygirl, you just must be hangin' out with the wrong kind of guys:T Either that, or you're an average-looking hoe and everyone knows it, so guys will just be friends with you to hook up with you, and once they find out you're not DTF they no longer think it's worth the effort and just dip. I know that sound super harsh, but some guys really are just dogs like that, if you're not that cute but they think they can get what they want from you, and if all they really want from you is an easy fuck and you're not puttin' out, then that's it. Honestly, if a guy really liked you, they would respect you, or even if he didn't like you but you were pretty hot and worth the effort, he'd at least be friends with you, or if he's really a dog, he'd be friends with you and work at it until he got what he wanted. Guys are pretty simple, if you don't have anything what they want, which could range from sex to just a friendship (it doesn't have to be just sex, you might have a personality they don't particularly like so they don't want your friendship), then it's not worth the effort to them so they drop it. Most guys really aren't as bad as how you made it seem in your question, I'm not sure if you're referring to like 1 or 2 boys or a large number of boys, but if that's how they're treating you, and it happens regularly, I'm sorry to have to say it, but it's probably you, not them. I could be wrong about the slut thing, but I know for sure that if guys thought you were cool to kick it with even if you weren't cute, they would be kickin' it with you instead of blowing you off. I'm really sorry, and I'm sure it's hard for you to hear, but it's the truth..:[
Q: so like me and my bf have been together for almost a year now and with college coming soon i'm kinda scared whats gonna happen... we are a strong couple and all but college is gonna change a lot of things so any tips???
A: Well obviously you already know that college is going to change your relationship, especially if you both are going to different schools. Depending on whether or not both of your situations change drastically, your relationship either could be heavily impacted or almost not at all. If your situations do change drastically, then I can tell you this now, things are going to be very difficult. In college, you can expect that he's going to meet a grip of girls, especially if he dorms, and he's going to be spending a lot more time with them than he will be able to with you, and even if it's on that friend level, spending too much time with any cute girl means trouble for you. However if he does get to see you regularly, that does change things a little bit. I guess bottom line is, there's not too much you can really do other than keep in close contact which means seeing him regularly and talking on the phone, the basic stuff, because for stuff like this, there's not too many things you can do about it, there's no tricks, tips or games to play, it's just life, and shit happens.
The End!
xoxo,
LVN
Q: Can you help explain to me why guys just want to be friends with benefit and not just friends? or even more than that? and if you choose not too just for the respect of your body, why they don't bother talking to you again? =/
A: Babygirl, you just must be hangin' out with the wrong kind of guys:T Either that, or you're an average-looking hoe and everyone knows it, so guys will just be friends with you to hook up with you, and once they find out you're not DTF they no longer think it's worth the effort and just dip. I know that sound super harsh, but some guys really are just dogs like that, if you're not that cute but they think they can get what they want from you, and if all they really want from you is an easy fuck and you're not puttin' out, then that's it. Honestly, if a guy really liked you, they would respect you, or even if he didn't like you but you were pretty hot and worth the effort, he'd at least be friends with you, or if he's really a dog, he'd be friends with you and work at it until he got what he wanted. Guys are pretty simple, if you don't have anything what they want, which could range from sex to just a friendship (it doesn't have to be just sex, you might have a personality they don't particularly like so they don't want your friendship), then it's not worth the effort to them so they drop it. Most guys really aren't as bad as how you made it seem in your question, I'm not sure if you're referring to like 1 or 2 boys or a large number of boys, but if that's how they're treating you, and it happens regularly, I'm sorry to have to say it, but it's probably you, not them. I could be wrong about the slut thing, but I know for sure that if guys thought you were cool to kick it with even if you weren't cute, they would be kickin' it with you instead of blowing you off. I'm really sorry, and I'm sure it's hard for you to hear, but it's the truth..:[
Q: Lindsey! I've been in a relationship for awhile now and it kind of lost its excitement, any suggestions? Perhaps a blog? :) Graciaass. I'm a guy by the way.
A: To be completely honest, I haven't been a a relationship long enough to have experienced--no offense--a rut, but I can try and help you to the best of my abilities? Well first off, depending on what kind of people you guys are, and how your relationship once was and how it is now, trying to bring excitement back into the relationship really does vary from couple to couple. However speaking in a general sense, I'll just put together a small list of suggestions that may or may not apply to your situation.- Both of you guys need to be open to exploring different things, which means going to different places, trying different activities, basically something you're not used to.
- get out of that day to day boring routine: If every day, your girl friend comes over, and you guys just chill at your house, watch TV, and go grab some food, it's obviously going to lose it's excitement for the obvious reason that everything's so predictable!
- Spend some time apart: go hang out with your friends and let her hang out with hers, if you guys are always together, you'll never be able to exchange fun stories with her because you were there! You saw that shit too, and you don't need her to tell you again! Plus give her some time to miss you, it will make it all the better when you finally get to see her again!
- Add some spice to your love life: whether you guys are having sex, or have had sex and are now no longer having it, don't be afraid to add some sense adventure to your sex life. Try doing it in places other than your bedroom, like the top of a parking structure, on the hood of your car, at the park, fuckit? DISNEYLAND. I recommend some place semi-public, there's something about the thrill of getting caught makes things exciting, but bottom line DON'T GET CAUGHT, you'll look like a dumbass. Oh and role play can be fun too, and I'm sure it's a lot more fun with the costumes to match, yeedig;]
Q: How do you get back with an ex after cheating on 'em?
A: Simple, you better work you ass off to earn their trust back, and pray that they give you a second chance, because to be honest, once you lose someones trust, there's almost nothing you can do because you just lost all rights to a voice, and even if they do decide to take you back, they'll still never trust you, and just saying sorry a million times for damn sure ain't gunna cut it.Q: so like me and my bf have been together for almost a year now and with college coming soon i'm kinda scared whats gonna happen... we are a strong couple and all but college is gonna change a lot of things so any tips???
A: Well obviously you already know that college is going to change your relationship, especially if you both are going to different schools. Depending on whether or not both of your situations change drastically, your relationship either could be heavily impacted or almost not at all. If your situations do change drastically, then I can tell you this now, things are going to be very difficult. In college, you can expect that he's going to meet a grip of girls, especially if he dorms, and he's going to be spending a lot more time with them than he will be able to with you, and even if it's on that friend level, spending too much time with any cute girl means trouble for you. However if he does get to see you regularly, that does change things a little bit. I guess bottom line is, there's not too much you can really do other than keep in close contact which means seeing him regularly and talking on the phone, the basic stuff, because for stuff like this, there's not too many things you can do about it, there's no tricks, tips or games to play, it's just life, and shit happens.
The End!
xoxo,
LVN
Saturday, July 3, 2010
When Dealing with Guys
So, once again, to all my readers, I'm sorry to have kept you guys waiting, I've just been lazy with it being summer and everything, and to be honest I'm begining to run out of things to write about, so feel free to throw out some suggestion!
A while back, I began to notice that the topics being discussed on my blog are mainly directed towards guys, and recently a new friend of mine suggested that I give girls some more attention, so this post will most definitely be for all my ladies out there!
A while back, I began to notice that the topics being discussed on my blog are mainly directed towards guys, and recently a new friend of mine suggested that I give girls some more attention, so this post will most definitely be for all my ladies out there!
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- DON'T put ridiculous restrictions on him: Ladies, lemme just tell you this, you're not his mother, you're his girlfriend, so don't make him feel like he needs to be babysitted or watched over; he's a big boy, he can take care of himself.
- If you don't agree with something he does, ie. drugs, don't FORCE your opinions and set boundaries for him and expect him to cooperate. It doesn't work that way. You can't get someone to stop by FORCING it upon them, it's just giving them more of a reason to do it, then lie to you about it; and in the end, you just put it on yourself. If your man does something that you don't agree with, just let him know that it's not something that you particularly like, but because you respect him, you'll respect his choices and understand that he is capable of making his own decisions, and in time if he cares about you, he should respect you enough to take your thoughts and opinions into consideration.
- Let him have time to kick it with his homies: There should, more or less, be an equivalent amount of time spent with you and with his friends. Spend some time apart, give him some time to miss you, cus spending every second of every day together begins to take the excitement out of the relationship.
- Don't care too much: There's a lot of you girls out there who will trip over almost anything, it being big or small. Learn to pick you fights, it'll make the relationship a lot easier for the both of you. And to be honest, I hear a lot of praise towards the girlfriends who are "chill", trust me, it's bonus points. No guy is gunna like always having to worry about whether or not his girl is mad at him.
- Surprise him!: Whether it's leaving little thoughtful notes on his car, or showing up at his house when his parents aren't home in a sexy cop uniform, a little thoughtful spontaneity is always appreciated;]
- Tomboy attributes can sometimes be a plus: Picking up on activities that are not common to females such as paintballing, cars, organized fighting, contact sports, etc. are often bonus points. Plus, on a scale of 1- 10, if you're at least a 6 or 7, you'll probably look hot with a wrench in your hand, or kicking some other girls ass anyway.
- Be down: Be the girl who's not afraid to have good time, who's not afraid to bust missions and go on adventures, who's not scared of a few bumps and bruises, and who's not too cool to try something new!
- Don't try too hard: When you just "happen" to show up at casual events where you know he's going to be, dressed up to the point where it's almost out of character, trust me, he and everyone who knows you can tell you're trying to impress someone, and it's a turn off when someone's obviously trying too hard, cus it seems desperate.
That's pretty much all I can think of at the moment, but if you have any questions that require answers in more detail, feel free to ask, and I'm happy to answer, I hope this helped!:]OH! and one last things, ladies, don't pick a guy with qualities you don't find acceptable, ie. drugs, and expect to change him, reality check, IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN, people change if they want to change, you can't expect them to change for you, sure there are exceptions to every rule, but in a general sense, it's not going to happen. If you want a good boy, GO FOR THE GOOD BOY, don't expect to go for a bad boy and change him!
Mkay, The End.
xoxo,
LVN