Club Protocal

I received a question the other day asking how to approach a girl at the club. Now the answer to this question is pretty easy, but I find the club topic something worth blogging about. So I'm going to start out with a Q&A, then continue on with my own thoughts.

Question: "how does one (a dude) approach girls in a CLUB setting. drop that knowledge plzz"

Answer: Being at the club, it's a very casual environment, so approaching a girl really isn't that hard, half the time you don't even really need to talk to her. Of course, there's always those nice guys out there who will politely come up to a girl and ask her to dance, which works too, but a lot of the time, if you see a girl you want to dance with dancing with her girls, all you really need to do is just to come up behind her and start dancing. When doing this, you will get one of two reactions:

1. She turns around, thinks you're acceptable, and continues dancing
2. She turns around, finds you UNacceptable, and walks away; sorry

Now that I've covered the Q&A portion, I'd like to branch out to what I like to call "Club Protocol" which will basically consist of the rules, regulations, and mannerisms that are unspoken of, but should be understood:

• Don't show up trashed: Pre-gaming is fine, I understand that it's a good way to get in the party mood and let loose, but showing up and acting a fool is completely different.
  
• Referring to the bullet point above if you're a guy and you show up trashed, there's one of two things that can happen:
  

1. You're hella horny and grind up against every girl in the CREEPIEST way possible. I know one thing's for sure, it's guaranteed this nigga ain't gettin' NO bitches tonight.
2. You get angry real fast for almost no reason at all, start a fight, and get kicked out basically for being a douche
   

• Again, referring to the bullet point above, if you're a girl and you show up trashed, the two most common things that could happen are:
  

1. You go in, act a fool, throw up in the womens restroom, and the rest of the night you'll be known as that crazy bitch who passed out in her own vomit
   
2. Some creepy guy sees how drunk you are and tries to hook up with you; he succeeds.

• Trashy dancing: I understand that these days, the good'ol bump N' grind has now become the social norm, and to be honest, it's kind to of hard to keep it classy when you're trying to start a fire with your ass and some guys crotch, however there are some moves that are, in my opinion, trashier than usual:

1. Anything below 90 degrees IS TRASHY: Once your head has pretty much made its way to the floor, bitch, you ain't even dancing anymore! Let's be real here, when dancing, you have rotations, body rolling, and whatnot going on, which makes you look sexy, but once you're completely bent over, you just look like you're takin' it in the ass!
2. When he pushes your head down: In my opinion, when a guy pushes a girls head down, it is straight up disrespectful, I know that if it were me, and some guy pushed my head down while we were dancing, it's guaranteed I would just get up and walk away

• Don't expect to find your future boyfriend at the club: Ladies, if you meet a guy at the club, don't get the impression that he's tryna get into anything serious. Let's be honest here, when you're a the club, chances are you look like a hoe, some more extreme than others, but in a general sense, every girl there isn't going to look like the kind of girl a guy's gunna want to take home to mom, so you know what he's looking for? Not a girlfriend, that's for sure! So don't take your self all seriously and get all but hurt when you exchanged numbers with a guy at the club and he blows you off or something, cus you can't expect him to take a slutty looking stranger at the club seriously!
• Bustin' out choreo at the club: Aiiitee, we get it, you're a dancer, and you want everyone at the club to know. But you know what we're really thinkin' when we see that? "Get that shit outta here!" This ain't no ABDC shit, we're at the club, relax, you look like a douche.