Q&A: Getting Out of the Friend Zone

Question: Heyyy your blogs are really insightful so I thought I would try and ask you a question and see if you could cover in your blog. Soo my question is what is the best way to stop getting stuck in the "your a great guy" best friend shoulder to lean on zone?

I'm not gunna lie, getting out of the friend zone is extremely difficult, only because you put yourself there. When I think about it, there's not really much you can do to get out of the friend zone once you're already there because now it's not up to you anymore. You've created an image of yourself, and in her eyes, she can't see you in any other light than the one she's been seeing you in throughout your friendship. I don't have the answer for everything, and this is one of the cases. Trying to get out of the friends zone into something more than a purely platonic relationship runs the risk of ruining a friendship completely, because once she knows that you want something more than just a friendship, it could go one of two ways:

1. Turns out she likes you and you guys live happily ever after
2. She doesn't feel the same and now she feels the need to treat you differently because she doesn't want to make you like her or lead you on, and the ending result; it's awkward. And an awkward friendship isn't a friendship at all; the end.
   

BUT I can provide tips on how to prevent even entering the friend zone:

• Try to stray away from having her talk to you about other guys: This is what her GIRLFRIENDS are for, and guys that give advice to girls about other guys are just friends. If she likes you, she should be talking ABOUT you, not TO you; and how is she going to be thinking about you when she's too busy thinking about other guys and asking for your opinion about it.
• Confiding is different from complaining: When she's constantly updating you on her love life, rambling on about how great things are going, and giving you intimate details about it, she's confiding in you, and that's what she would normally do with her girlfriends, and that's a nogo. When she's coming to you only to complain about how a guy is a total asshole and when he treats her badly, it's different because in this case, she feels as though she's being neglected/mistreated, and she came to you to make her feel better, because like they say, if a girl isn't getting the kind of affection and treatment she wants, she can AND WILL find it elsewhere, and that's where you came in.

There's other stuff I would tell you, but those are girly secrets, and not for boys to hear!:]