Can Boys and Girls Be "Best Friends"

I think it's safe to say that we've all had a "best friend" of the opposite gender. And a friend of mine requested that for my next topic I should discuss whether or not it's possible for a girl and a boy to be best friends without ruining that platonic relationship. The truth is: it's not. Simple as that, but what's not simple is what KIND of friendship you have with other person, and whether or not you're in a committed relationship.

If he's the kind of "best friend" that you hang out with one-on-one regularly, or talk to on the phone when you're bored, etc. that's a no go (unless you don't mind risking the possibility of falling for him, or vice versa). Basically, girls, it's when you treat him like you would a boyfriend because you're "comfortable" with him. You may not think you're doing it, but there kinda IS a reason why people always ask you if ya'll are dating.. OBVI! And if the pattern continues, there's no way in hell at least one of you isn't going to fall for the other. Feelings develop, it's inevitable, and spending THAT much time together makes it nearly impossible for the relationship to remain platonic.

On the flip side, there's the kind of "best friend" that has boundaries. This is the kind of friendship where, whether the guy likes it or not, he's stuck in the "friend zone". This is the "best friend" that you go to, to talk about OTHER guys. This is the guy you occasionally have lunch dates with where you update him on your love life. This is the guy you hit up to go shopping with you when your girls are busy; basically, girls, if the activities you two engage in together are that of which you would normally do with a girl friend, he's stuck so far in the friend zone, he's almost gay. This guy can also sometimes be referred to as your "brother." (and there's STILL a possibility that he's going to fall for you, even if you do see him as just a friend)

When you're in a relationship is when things begin to get complicated, only because when you see that you're not the only one in your boyfriends life, you begin to wonder where you stand, and that's when the insecurities begin to settle in. But there are signs that can help you determine whether or not your boyfriends best friend poses a threat to you and your relationship, here are a few:

• When you guys are hanging out, he's texting her
• When you guys get into a fight, he complains to her about you
• ****He seems to feel more comfortable confiding in her rather than you
• He hits her up to kick it one on one when he knows you're not doing anything
• He tries to hide it when he and his best friend kick it because he thinks you'll get mad
• He brings her up in random conversations
  

A relationship consists of two parts, and partnership and a friendship, so when your boyfriend is having an easier time confiding in another girl rather than his own girlfriend, that friendship is no longer there, and neither is that trust that comes with it. Instead, it has moved its way over to his "best friend", and that's when you need to start worrying.


*This applies to boys as well, I just used girls as an example...cus I'm a girl, it's just easier LOL